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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim."

"The worst part about by dad driving his hummer through a river was it was not his most expensive mistake. I was. It was me. I was the most expensive mistake."

"My gay friend told me this joke... But he couldn't keep a straight face"

"So a husband asked his wife if it was possible to feel happy and sad at the same time..... She responded that he had the biggest dick out of his brothers."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns? The take everything, literally."

"My wife got a restraining order against me. I love it when she plays hard to get."

"Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way? We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right?"

"Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche"

"What is a horse's favourite sport? Stable tennis!"

"One direction splitting up? My daughter just announced to me she is in d-Niall :-)"