201889

Joke of the Day

"The worst part about by dad driving his hummer through a river was it was not his most expensive mistake. I was. It was me. I was the most expensive mistake."

"How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts"

"I thought I'd lose tons more weight if I drank extra glasses of water every day, but I guess I was just diluting myself."

"Why does a woman smile when walking down the aisle? She knows that she no longer has to give blow jobs."

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs"

"How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Secretly A Minivan"

"A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Puerto Rican are in the back seat of a car. Who's driving ? Immigration. (ICE)"

"I was going to have a wank at the Vatican while I was there on vacation. But I thought about it and it has probably been done before and I would hate to be seen as the second coming."

"Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period."