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Joke of the Day

"I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that."

"What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants? ""ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"""

"No I don't want to ride in a basket beneath your giant flying fire tent."

"When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer."

"yo mama is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am i wearing i said Guess and she said Levis."

"*6 opens piggy bank* Me: wtf where'd you get all that? 6: mommy said I could take $1 out of your wallet each day bc you'd never know"

"Brazil's congress. thats the joke, folks..."

"I hate Sharknado, it is SO unrealistic. Rain? In California? Did they even pretend to research for this movie?"

"What do you call the useless objects a company possesses? Asshats (assets - asshats)"

"Why does salt come in a bottle? Because it's white I don't know why it's funny. I just heard it so can someone explain it to me?"