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Joke of the Day

"The Pope quit. Meteor in Russia. Snowing in Arizona. Star Wars and Star Trek have the same director. Who the hell is playing Jumanji?"

"Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills."

"[Courtroom] Judge: Have you been up before me? Convict: I don't know, Judge. What time were you up this morning?"

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie? Disney movies can still touch little kids."

"Did you hear about the gay Irish couple? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"No matter which doctor I go to for a general checkup, they all hit me on the knee. I think they get a kick out of it."

"Why did the Death Star hire a lot of football players from Thailand? Because they needed more Thai Interceptors!"

"NSFW I got rejected from a job interview. Apparently, when asked an example you worked well in a team, ""gangbag"" is not an acceptable answer."

"Lesbian Pick Up Line ""Hey girl, you wanna go swimming? We can do the scissor kick."""

"What do a guitar and a drum have in common? Neither of them are a clarinet!"