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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills."

"Relationships are like fat people... Most of them don't work out."

"The cleaning people unplugged my radio and lost my settings, so I'm shooting fingernail clippings all over my office floor to punish them."

"What was the pedophile's favourite drink? The milkshake, because it brought all the boys to his yard"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Me and my running friends always run 5Ks, but now they want to run 10K races and I really hate running 10Ks"

"I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common."

"Doctor... can I bathe with diarrhea? Hmm, yes if you shit enough..."

"Kevin Ware's leg Unfortunately Kevin Ware and his leg did not display the same structure and elasticity as his brother Tupper"

"What do Swedish people put in their coffee? Artifical Swedeners"

"Jared from subway lost his job the same way he got it. By getting into smaller pants."