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Joke of the Day

"[Courtroom] Judge: Have you been up before me? Convict: I don't know, Judge. What time were you up this morning?"

"A hole has appeared in the ladies' changing rooms at the downtown sports club. Police are looking into it."

"What do you call an Indian Jedi? Mace Hindu."

"I can't believe how different life was before *googles* Al Gore invented the Internet"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? [chokes]"

"What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene."

"just Facebook stalked the sister of the new boyfriend of the last girl who dated my ex. I'm just as confused as you are"

"my cousin asked if I wanted to hold her baby and I told her I have ringworm"

"Why don't ghosts have kids? Because they have Hollow-Weinies"