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Joke of the Day
"How come when my kid wants to show me something, she has to place it directly inside my cornea?"
Next Joke
"I lost my mood ring earlier today... I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"When it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do everyday is not die."
"What's the name of that movie about the war horse? War Biscuit"
"I've set my phone to airplane mode to add more realism to the nausea and turbulence I experience at work."
"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."
"How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath."
"Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes and that's why they are the late heads of Europe."
"What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal? A keeper"
"Why did the lawyer go to the tailor? He wanted a law-suit"