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Joke of the Day
"When it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do everyday is not die."
Next Joke
"I'm going to kill myself.... or die trying."
"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay"
"It's easier to travel back in time and stop yourself from being born than it is to delete your Facebook account."
"there's no way leo dicaprio cares about winning an oscar as much as we care about imagining that SOMETHING torments a rich handsome actor"
"JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)"
"2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows. (Get well soon Carrie)"
"What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home? She moved."
"If Trump wins tonight... He'll be the first person to go from P.O.S. to P.O.T.U.S."
"My internet connection."