93077

Joke of the Day

"Spice up your Facebook timeline when someone's status turns to ""It's complicated"" by posting ""thanks for last night"" underneath it."

"Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep? Because he was on the lam."

"Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law School."

"Did you hear about the hooker that went to the bank for a loan? She just needed something to get her by until she could get back on her back"

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are."

"What do you do if you are driving your car in central Manhattan and you see a space man? Park in it, of course."

"What do you call a $300 hand job from a rapper? Beats by Dre."

"What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood? Logger-rhythms."

"Did you hear the joke about the roof? I would tell you, but it tends to go over people's heads"

"I don't like dictatorships. All dictators should be shot, and if anybody disagrees with me, they should be shot as well."