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Joke of the Day
"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls are."
Next Joke
"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"
"My son's favorite toy is the free blood pressure machine at Walgreens."
"What's Robin Hood's favourite font? Sans Sheriff!"
"What is Chewbaccas favorite celebrity? Wookie Goldberg"
"I played golf with a guy in a wheelchair today He must not play much judging by the silence I was met with when I asked him what his handicap is."
"The blind hooker helped me a lot with my allergies She blew my nose"
"Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six, seven eight."
"The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks."
"As I get older, more and more of my Christmas wish list is just stuff I need from the grocery store."