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Joke of the Day

"Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE"

"What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog? One is an oscar meyer weiner, the other admires oscar's weinner"

"Fruit roll ups I went to the supermarket and asked a clerk if they had fruit roll ups, he then called his gay manager to hug me."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big."

"Ordering a decaf coffee is like ordering a picture of food"

"This is rigged! Wife to Husband : Will you take me out for dinner in the evening? Your options are: A) Yes B) A C) B"

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."

"Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date? OMG!"

"A man walks into a pizza parlor owned my a couple of monks He walks up to the cashier and says, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""

"I don't understand why women love singing ""Let it go""... ...Since most of them keep grudges for life."