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Joke of the Day

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big."

"My philosophy to everything I do are governed by the three E's Excellence, Efficiency, and Intelligence"

"Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don't want her to meet her competition right away."

"I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force."

"I've got my doctorate in palindromes. I'm now addressed as Dr.Awkward"

"Who's the artist you find in the supermarket? Salvador Deli"

"""I see..."" said the blind man as he pissed into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"Short and cute giggles. What did the shy little pebble wish for? That she was a little boulder!"

"I'm hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm, if you can't come, let me know."

"Men are like shag carpets. Soft fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on."