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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."

"It's a shame push-up bras don't work on IQs."

"What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse? Warren."

"Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s"

"With Michael Phelps, Sarah Palin, and Glenn Beck here in Charlotte this week, my status as smartest guy in the room just rose exponentially."

"Drug Dealer: U have to tell me if ur a cop. Cop: U have to tell me if ur a dealer. DD: U sure? Cop: Ya Im a cop, I know laws Oh damn it."

"Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius! "

"what's your best oscar one liner? tell me."

"What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A Lassie who plays brassie!"

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."