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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."

"I like running up to kids, punching a puppy in the face and screaming ""WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"" And that's my long-term solution to religion."

"So, I just found out I got some black guys in my family tree... Went to the backyard and found them still hanging there."

"What did the Gay techie say? I do queries."

"Have you heard of the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines everywhere."

"*Puts on muscle shirt* *Looks in mirror* Maybe it takes a few minutes to kick in."

"911 OPERATOR (female): What's your emergency GUY (being murdered): Haha nothing what are you up to"

"How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? The hot dogs taste like ass."

"I wonder if Houdini ever locked himself out of the house."

"My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name."