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Joke of the Day

"Mars and NASA Mars: Come over NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Mars: I'm wet NASA: I'm coming over"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."

"What do you say to a girlfriend who calls you a lazy couch potato? Well let me tell you..."

"Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life."

"I broke my finger today... but on the other hand..I'm completely fine!"

"So all the primates got together for a male-only gathering, but they put up a sign banning humans. No homo."

"College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"What did one potatoe say to another? Dan Quayle wrote this joke."

"You know what they say about amnesia... No, really. Do you know?"

"Kid pulls prank on teachers seat with glue. Teacher dies due to... Asphyxiation."