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Joke of the Day
"What did the bra say to the hat? you go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift."
Next Joke
"Friend: Dude, you need to get into her pants. Me: [imagining how soft her leggings would feel over my thighs] YES"
"Driving isn't even in the top 5 things I'm thinking about when I'm driving."
"There's no way Kat Von D knows when she's done showering."
"I'm taking part in a scavenger hunt. I have already killed twelve scavengers"
"How do footballers send messages? By referee-mail."
"What's Irish and sits out in the rain? Paddy o' Furniture"
"The phrase 'lazy asshole' is an oxymoron... Because an asshole gets shit done."
"I'm too fat to be a hipster. I'm thinking of becoming a Heapster instead."
"What did the optical illusion say when he got caught cheating on his wife ""It's not what it looks like!"""