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Joke of the Day
"How do footballers send messages? By referee-mail."
Next Joke
"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"
"I'm starving. I haven't eaten all year."
"A guy and his girlfriend are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."
"What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser? Resisting a rest."
"After sex I always get out my phone and order my wife a dozen roses. My girlfriend thinks I'm hilarious."
"Why do french tanks have rear mirrors? So they can also see the front lines."
"Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest escaped with minor injuries. (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)"
"my marrige is just like my time in prison nothing but fucking and fighting, Im just kidding I never fought in prison."
"I wonder if Morgan Freeman will be too busy narrating his own birthday party, to actually be able to enjoy it?"