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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, how did you fall in love with mom?"" ""Well, son, long story short I saw her picture on Instagram and it was love at first...filter."""

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Donald Trump."

"Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her b-shells."

"What have women and condoms got in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet."

"What was the dog doing on the turnpike? About seven miles an hour."

"how to perform artificial insemination in mexico about 10 guys jack off onto the floor, and then they let the flies do the rest."

"I cheated on my taxidermist girlfriend. Now I'm stuffed..."

"Self Pleasure Joke NSFW You ever whack off so much your hand pretends to be asleep?"

"Based on how much my bones and joints pop when I work out, I'm pretty sure I'm 80% rice krispies."

"Updated list of teen cliques: aioli freaks, Comcastwitches, genderbloggers, Skin taggers, turkeysluts, bolognaboys, Tinyteens, lunch decoys"