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Joke of the Day

"4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?"

"*eye of the tiger starts to play as I trip & fall down the stairs"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"Why aren't cowboys circumcised? So they have somewhere to put their dip at lunch"

"[Riot] ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" *far in the back* PIZZA ROLLS ""No Jim we want freedom"" ""WHAT DO WE WANT"" PIZZA ROLLS ""JIM"" But I'm hungry :("

"Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"A Rabbi's money maker. A man asks a Rabbi if he gets paid for the circumcisions. The Rabbi says - No, I can't do that! I just Keep the tips!"

"People keep asking me today ""So you have a new boss?"" No, I'm still with my wife."

"Have you heard of the new Divorced Barbie Doll? It comes with all of Ken's stuff!"

"I said to my wife's mother ""when you're dead, I'll dance in your grave."" she said: ""Good, I'm being buried at sea."""