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Joke of the Day

"Taylor Swift told Vanity Fair she's not a ""clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend"" through various voicemails and texts at 3 AM"

"Me: lets go on a date Her: umm Me: what could go wrong *25 minutes later we are being chased by a pack of raccoons*"

"What do you call the cookbook of the dead? The Necrinom-nom-nomicon"

"Why doesn't men use make-up or perfume? Because we're beautiful and smell good!"

"Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise."

"What kind of dinosaur writes poetry? A Bronte-saurus."

"The ""eye for an eye"" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops."

"Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes."

"I went to look at tents today. But I didn't buy one. There was nothing before them, there was no pre-tents."

"My favorite one-liner Two women sat down quietly."