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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise."

"Why didn't Princess Diana have very many friends on Xbox Live? All she does is stay on the dashboard."

"You know the fly was really close to being called a land... Because that's what it does half the time. RIP Mitch Hedberg"

"Many rastafarian babies are born out of dreadlock."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?"

"No, not bisexual, I said beesexual. I fuck bees."

"Birth Control My wife and I had seven kids. We tried using birth control pills, but they kept falling out."

"Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, gets on a podium and encourages all black men in America to buy guns to protect themselves from white guys with guns. Just kidding."

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count"

"My pizza store delivers weed as well. Lol just kidding. He doesn't sell pizza."