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Joke of the Day

"There's a part of me that still loves you. I hit that part with a hammer. Stupid part."

"The most Canadian thing I ever heard was a secondhand story about a guy getting his toe bit off by a beaver but not telling his date."

"Someone wake up that guy from Green Day."

"I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and weird. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile Which is a pretty big word for a 9 year old"

"Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in ""Damn it, c'mon, not again!"" he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge"

"*wants space* *eats Milky Way*"

"It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy."

"The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair"