208422

Joke of the Day

"Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in ""Damn it, c'mon, not again!"" he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge"

"Out of order. How does a time traveler tell jokes?"

"My girlfriend went to get her test results from the doctor today and it was bad news. He confirmed I'm about to become a husband."

"How do you call a hearing-impaired duck? **HEY DUCK!!!!!**"

"After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating, "" It was a pressure meeting you"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amber ! Amber who ? Amber-sting to come in !"

"What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use? Arab spring"

"How come the government can keep printing money But when I do it, it's a crime?"

"What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer? Thtop taking the pith out of me!"

"Elon Musk's new MasterCard Ad. Getting a person to Mars?: $100,000. Getting them back?: Priceless."