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Joke of the Day

"TIL this is a shameless copy of one of the top posts on this sub just changing a few words Woops wrong sub"

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"My friend said a baby crying is the best form of birth control but there was a baby bawling next door all night & my girlfriend got pregnant"
"My subaru wasn't working. How awd."
"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""
"Dad Rabbit: Who is this Daughter Rabbit: My BF Emo BF Rabbit: gotta go babe, My band Bad Hare Cut has practice *flips ears away from eyes"
"Why did Sean Connery say he quit his mall Santa job? I got tired of all the kids asking to shit on my lap."
"I only eat beef raised on marijuana... I like it when the steaks are high."
"How Are A Prostitute And A Pirate Ship Alike? They're both full of seamen."
"At my 16th birthday party, 1 guy came as a bunch of balloons, another as an untouched table of snacks & another came as an empty church hall"
"A bead of sweat forms on my brow. And another. Intensity builds as I decide my future and embrace it. ""I'll take the maple bar, please."""