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Joke of the Day
"I'm too immature for adultery."
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"""conference"" comes from the Latin ""con"" meaning ""together with"" and ""ference"" meaning ""the worst people on earth"""
"What does Melania see in Donald Trump? 10 billion dollars and high Cholesterol"
"Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring, where would i hide ..."
"What do you call s'mores in Spanish? S'mas"
"I was talking to my friend earlier. I thought, ""Why on earth are you called Earlier?"""
"My girlfriend and I play a game where we see who can yell rape the loudest while having sex. She doesn't know we play it but she still wins every time."
"Why did Regina George's dog only play keep-away? because fetch is not going to happen."
"*bursts into English convention* GRAB ALL THE STUFF YOU CAME WITH THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE *crickets* Christ. THE STUFF WITH WHICH YOU CAME"
"If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world."