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Joke of the Day

"Coworker sneezed, and said ""Oh my. I don't know where that came from."" I'm no Scientist, but I'm pretty sure it came from her nose."

"April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? (From u/cherryslurpee) I won't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Gift before the Prom ""I'm ready for my first prom daddy"" ""Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"" ""Whats in the box dad"" ""...Condoms"""

"911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry."

"Boy born with no eyelids! The Dr. used the foreskin from the circumcision. Now the boy is cockeyed"

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish."

"On the Mexican side of the US-Mexico border, there are guards. On the US side, there are trampolines."

"Why do Mexicans have no Targets? Because Trump is hiring them all to build a Wall mart."