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Joke of the Day

"Gift before the Prom ""I'm ready for my first prom daddy"" ""Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"" ""Whats in the box dad"" ""...Condoms"""

"WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it."

"Not feeling great about how much scrolling down I have to do to get to my birth year."

"Can I ask you a question? Me and my co worker was having a good conversation about school that lasted about 20 mins. Then she said ""Can I ask you a question"" and I replied ""You just did"""

"Q: How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails? A: Replace the nails with screws."

"In bed, women commonly mistake me for Usain Bolt because I always come first."

"Why can't anarchists draw straight lines? Because they don't have any rulers."

"Environmentally friendly means to stop burning bridges and just throw people off of them"

"A small plane crashed into a cemetery... the forensics found no survivors. They have found 268 bodies by sunset. They will continue searching tomorrow morning..."

"What do you call a musician who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"