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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask ""where am I?"" and whatever they say I runaway screaming ""Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"""

"I feel that jokes about basements are beneath me... ...but I won't tell you a joke about roofs because it'll go over your head."

"What kind of jeans do Mario and Luigi wear? Denim denim denim!"

"When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic."

"I'll pay full price for the next iPhone if the only change they make to it is erasing ""ducking"" from the autocorrect."

"What did the gynaecologist say to the vagina that grabbed his sandwich? Don't, Snatch."

"What do you call two turds getting intimate in heaven? Holy Fucking Shit."

"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is gettin better."

"What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to a crocodile? A crocodile!"

"Suddenly had the urge to lay on the floor and do stomach crunches. Then I found some bubble wrap and that urge went away."