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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask ""where am I?"" and whatever they say I runaway screaming ""Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"""

"Attention Girl: Why do you look so sad? Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint?"

"An elephant steps on an ant hill and one ant climbs up to the elephant's neck; the rest of the colony screams: STRANGLE HIM ROLUNT!!!"

"My suicide notes just keep turning into grocery lists."

"Give a man a plane ticket... Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life."

"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A shit zoo."

"What do you call social networking for magical creatures? Faebook."

"Bond. Bail Bond."

"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick."

"Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?"