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Joke of the Day

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA!"

"The most judgmental aquatic mammal is probably the seal of disapproval."

"Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, ""LIAR!"" into her ear after I watched her type ""lol"". She did NOT lol."

"What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle"

"Need an ark? ..I Noah guy."

"How do animals cross the ocean? On a Gir-raft."

"Bloom should not have punched Beiber ... After all, you punch a man, you slap a bitch."

"There is no ""i"" in ""team."" But there's an ""i"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team."" So there we go."

"If republicans stand up and clap I get a shot, if democrats stand up and clap I have to buy someone a shot who can't afford it. #sotu"

"Two Texans taking a leak off the GW Bridge on a December night Man, it's cold. Yeah, deep too!"