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Joke of the Day

"Here is an old joke my old man used to tell me There is a 4 year old, 6 year old, 8 year old, 10 year old, and me trying to catch a home run ball. Who gets the ball? Me because fuck them"

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"The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""
"What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms? The finish line at the Boston Marathon."
"I decided to stand on my left foot when the clock reached twelve tonight So I could start the year off right"
"*Aims for the moon* *hits curb*"
"My new dentist asked me if I gag easily. ""No, I'm a professional,"" probably wasn't the answer he expected."
"The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is ""compost."""
"My sex life is just like star wars: Its either Han Solo, or i have to use the force."
"I went to the club, now my friends call me Cheers... ...Because I star Ted Danson (say it out loud now)"
"Why didn't the Mexican go ""bow hunting"" with the Native American? He didn't Habanero."