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Joke of the Day

"[god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella ""okay"" made out of jello ""alright"" and it electrocutes things ""you're drunk"""

"The neighbor's dog has barked non stop for three hours. And now I know how the Chinese first discovered that dogs make a tasty snack."

"I saw a lady with 12 nipples the other day... Sounds weird dozen tit?"

"A blonde gets an acceptance letter to Harvard ."

"Thieves .. Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap,shower gel,towels and deodorant.Dirty Bastards."

"*shoots self in foot* ""Damn i like the metaphor better"""

"I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either."

"I wish radical Islamists were just Muslims who were really into surfing."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Americans can't milk a cow for 15 years."

"And now, a poem. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Violet is a shade of purple, so you're a lying whore."