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Joke of the Day

"Does putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"

"My neighbor's diary says I have boundary issues."

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."

"I've got my ion you, baby!"

"Did you hear about the Mexican racist? he joined the que que que."

"I'm always disappointed when I board a plane and there's no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood."

"boss: I've been reviewing the security footage from last night and... me: OH SHIT! boss: OH SHIT IS RIGHT! YOUR DANCE MOVES ARE ON POINT!"

"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."

"What do you call a woman who sells sex for noodles? A Pasta-tute!"

"As a boy, I went to a Catholic School... It was a pain in the ass."