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Joke of the Day

"The Pirate and the alphabet Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet? Because they spend years at sea."

"whats red and bangs on the window? A baby in the microwave"

"""We can't put it off any longer Alan, our daughter needs new shoes"" CENTIPEDE DAD: [staring out the window] This is gonna bankrupt us Susan"

"Did you hear about the new group my mom's in? D.A.M. (Moms against dyslexia)"

"What do ghosts give birth to? Boo-bies."

"Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters"

"2001 A Space Odyssey 2 The spaceship returns HAL is just as uncooperative as ever. He never works. He becomes the basis for Windows 10."

"THERE IS A VIRUS GOING AROUND REDDIT W THE LINK ""CO-EDS.AVI"" THAT MAKES YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS I DIDNT CLICK ON IT BC I DONT WATCH PORN BUT BE ON THE LOOK OUT.."

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"

"So the current Prime Minister of the UK just blocked compulsory sex education in schools.. I guess he doesn't want children to be able to identify a cunt."