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Joke of the Day

"Procrastination - Making a better today, tomorrow"

"What do stupid kids do at Halloween? They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins."

"I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants."

"Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail? Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies."

"Being with a whore.... Is like sitting on a warm toilet seat. You didn't see the last guy leave, but you know someone was just there."

"What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird"

"Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high."

"One How many time travellers does it take to change a light bulb?"

"""Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!"" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think ""diver city day"" could be fun too"

"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."