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Joke of the Day

"Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high."

"What starts with ""F"" and ends with ""uck""? Fuck."

"Why didn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, first off, it's called a lamp..."

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"Its so busy at work... I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all."

"Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph."

"I was going to say a StarFox joke But they were all too Corneria"

"Every time I clean out my fridge, I get pissed off about the stuff I forgot to eat."

"I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it."