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Joke of the Day

"Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways? All that Muslim hatred can really run you down."

"""I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons..."" ""What will you do with a million watermelons?"" ""I don't want the watermelons, I just want the money."""

"What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about? AVOCADO'S NUMBER!"

"How easy is it to get stoned in Amsterdam? It's a piece of cake."

"I threw some pills at my doctor I thought it would be a good idea to give him a taste of his own medicine"

"Why did the farmer's house catch on fire? He left his home on the range."

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP."

"SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!"

"What is a 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period..."

"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""