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Joke of the Day

"[Apple meeting] We need an honest iPhone 6 slogan. ""How about, iPhone 6: Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices."" Too honest, Carl."

"What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe"

"I heard y'all don't like bird jokes This could get a little hawkward"

"The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head."

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"Please don't drink and drive. Last night I put my hand out of the car to indicate i was turning right and some moron pulled the the bottle out of my hand"

"Invention of the knife ""What is that?"" I call it the 'knife'. ""Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"" Greg, I am about to blow your mind."

"The celebrity couple name for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is Clump."

"The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One - they are quite efficient and not very funny."