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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One - they are quite efficient and not very funny."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"Why did the psychic get fired? Because she didn't see it coming."

"I just got fired, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently, nursing homes have ""strict rules"" around what you can do with the patients."

"What happens when your friend from Prague topples over? You right a Czech."

"I bet earth makes fun of the other planets for having no life"

"Weird Question in Exam Q) What do you find in cells? My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology."

"Summer in Scotland. . . Is the best day of the year."

"My uncle died after falling out of a helicopter.. ..so at his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a parachute. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

"It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside."