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Joke of the Day

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"[lights 2016 calendar on fire] There. Now you can't hurt anyone any longer. [wind blows calendar onto my coat; I'm engulfed in flames]"

"I hate one-dimensional games. They're so linear."

"Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! China ! China who? China late isn't it? !"

"I wish I had an old Asian man for a pet. That way I could name it ""Old Yeller"""

"""How often do you floss?"" Every day ""How often do you lie?"" Every six months"

"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating."

"A deer walked out of a gay bar and said... I just blew ten bucks in there!"

"Why were all Roman buildings made of stone? They crucified the carpenter."