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Joke of the Day

"The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head."

"Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a glass of Ribena? He was dragged away by a strong current."

"You know what I'd like for Christmas, mom? I'd like you to stop treating me like a child. Also I'd like some money and some new socks."

"Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive"

"Why did the mom cry as her baby Richard became older? Her little Dick was growing."

"I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day."

"You think YOUR economy is bad? Around here the hookers are giving free blowjobs just to get something hot on their bellys!"

"If I were a Greek philosopher, my name would be Mediocrites."

"If you have The Black Eyed Peas on your iPod, 2 things: number 1, you're stupid and number 2, you have peas in a pod."

"Apparently one in three people cheat. I wonder if it's my wife or my girlfriend."