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Joke of the Day

"How does an engineer screw a light-bulb? He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Surgeon: I need someone to unroll this bandage, stat! Cat nurse, excitedly: I've got this."

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"

"A kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so I pretended to put candy in his basket."

"I tried to start learning French verbs... ...but it's impossible with all the new pronouns."

"What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe? Clogs."

"Will was killed during his first battle with the US army His comrades got confused when their commander yelled: ""Fire at Will!"""

"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"Suzy Why did little Suzy fall of the swing set? She has no arms... Knock knock? Who's there? Not Suzy"