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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"

"She is not my reword, I am her punishment."

"I have only two requests for when I die. #1. I want my remains scattered around Wrigley Field. \#2. I don't want to be cremated first."

"I made my wife dinner tonight She was great with BBQ sauce"

"My hot dislexic co-worker said she had an important massage to give me in her office... When I got there, she told me it can wait until I put on some clothes."

"It's a sad day today for Eminem fans. Not for any particular reason, just because their lives are generally very sad and meaningless."

"Have you heard the one about the butter? Nah, you'll just spread it around."

"People accuse me of babying my dog, which I think is ridiculous. It's not like I'm breast feeding her. She won't even take to my nipple."

"Word of the Day: Eskihoe A girl that wears UGG boots and a miniskirt at the same time."

"Just donated my body to science. I'm your problem now, science. And I could use some pizza and beer."