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Joke of the Day

"me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]"

"The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse."

"How does a French woman hold her liquor? By the ears."

"I was on diet for a month and all I lost was 30 days How many of you know this funny man pakalu papito ? Its one of his joke."

"What does a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer."

"What do you call an eight-legged insect holding a magnifying glass? A spy, duh."

"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."

"I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats. I'm trying to quit cold turkey."

"Wife: why are you smiling? [realizing if Blue from Blue's Clues and Clifford had puppies they'd be purple] Me: I was thinking about you."

"An apple a day..... Causes job shortages in the hospital. Have a burger instead!"