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Joke of the Day

"I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats. I'm trying to quit cold turkey."

"What is successful but always beat? Rihanna"

"Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food."

"a muslim, a jew, a christian and an atheist walk into a coffee shop... and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become good friends. thats what happens when you're not an asshole."

"why was the computer late to work? because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)"

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking. He said he was busy and I'd just have to be a little patient."

"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"

"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"What do you call a litter of Corgi puppies? A Corgisbord."

"What's the definition of 6.9? 69 interrupted by a period."