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Joke of the Day

"If you like someone, pretend they're a charger and you're an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor."

"I still remember that moment I said I love you too, coz that's the exact moment my life got fucked up!"

"I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'"

"Why do all Pirates wear eye patches? Chuck Norris."

"i've been doing home repairs. since i started using black caulk, i haven't gone back."

"Why do you get when you cross a Rhino with a Panzer tank? A bloody mess"

"Why do asian women like white men so much? Because they don't wanna look at themselves, when they have sex."

"I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet But it turns out it was just brownian lotion."

"Toilet humor Why was the toilet scared? Because shit was about to go down!"

"Do steam rollers really roll steam?"