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Joke of the Day

"I heard women in this country only get 78 for every dollar a man earns... On the bright side, we get to keep 22"

"How many Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, they'll just compliment it a lot and then complain because it won't screw."

"So this Limbo Champion walks into a bar... and was immediately disqualified."

"I just saw a woman fall in the street so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don't know her or her hierarchy of needs."

"To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run"

"Did you hear about the wooden car? Wooden move"

"I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out""."

"Poor Bob Holness Only been at the pearly gates five minutes, when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks 'can I have an E please Bob'."

"Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage."

"If you think meeting your girlfriends parents is hard just remember? Someone is going to try to date Eminems daughter"