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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a woman fall in the street so I asked if she wanted help or sex because I don't know her or her hierarchy of needs."

"What do Brits call a fleshlight? A blowtorch."

"Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright? Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'"

"How do you confuse an asian? Put a steering wheel in front of them"

"What do you find in a church's bathroom? Holy shit."

"I like turntablism. Some of the samples really speak to me."

"What did Tarzan say when he saw a heard of elephants? Oh look! A heard of elephants."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Peace Prize? He was out standing in his field."

"Let's play the lion and the lion tamer Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat"

"I've had so much to drink that you're beginning to look good."