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Joke of the Day

"To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run"

"So a clown gets eaten by a shark..."

"On Halloween I'm going to let kids decide between raisins and a toothbrush so they know what we're going through with this election."

"Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident."

"Woman: Officer you must help. I've just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly ma'am we'll comb the area."

"Score! I just landed my summer job for this year - working at the zoo, circumsizing elephants They said the hourly pay isn't great, but the tips are ENORMOUS!"

"Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? A: Third grade."

"why do dolphin jokes always make you laugh? that's the porpoise. (came up with this at work...i love a good pun)"

"*sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok."

"The Jonestown cult survivor was never any good at jokes. He always missed the punchline."