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Joke of the Day

"What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection? My dogma ate it."

"Q: How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him ."

"[OC] What's Elton John's favorite kind of conditioner? Levon."

"The blind have a braille version of the bible... The Really Holy Bible."

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday."

"Happy poops are all alike; every unhappy poop is unhappy in its own way."

"I wish I was able to say as many things with a simple 'mmmmhhhmmmmm' as your average elderly black woman."

"The Pope originally wanted to invite Hillary to speak but the Vatican couldn't afford it."

"There are 2 hamsters in the airing cupboard, which one is from the Army? A: The one on the tank"