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Joke of the Day

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"I like my women like I like my cheese. Cold and blue."

"is it me or do old people always end their texts with extra periods? ""good seeing u today. missed u....."""

"Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: You send down five skin divers."

"What would happen if you shot Donald Trump in the rump? You'd hit Christi in the head!"

"I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons."

"The worst thing about living in the city must be cleaning all the dead parkour people out of your chimney."

"What does the horny scientist call a lobotomy? Getting head"

"Shout out to the people who... Don't know what the opposite of in is"

"If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The Swallow"