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Joke of the Day

"The blind have a braille version of the bible... The Really Holy Bible."

"I dig, You dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a good poem, but it's deep."

"Patrick Star is so clueless It's like he lives under a rock or something"

"My pistol only holds 9 bullets, so when I lose my shit I only get to kill 9 people or one cat."

"Where do otters come from? Otter space. [credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]"

"What they told you about Mormonism is a lie Because they can't tell the truth"

"[mission] CMDR: Did everyone sync their watches? ME: Yeah and now it doesn't work CMDR: What? Let me see ME: I can't...it's in the sink"

"When I play poker, it turns out a lot like when I poop when there's no toilet paper... I get shit hands"

"Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves."

"In Ancient Days, Newscasters Kept You Updated On The Latest News Happening Flat The World."